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Kiernan Ales Krutil

2002 - 2021

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Kylie uploaded photo(s)

Friday, December 24, 2021

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Kiernan, you were the coolest person I've ever known. You were so smart, incredibly talented and super funny. You were also so sweet and kind. You showed me so much great music and taught me so much. I remember the first time we met it was over Instagram back when we were 15. I got this message request on Instagram from you. You were joking around saying some goofy and funny stuff so I decided to play along. That immediately sparked a friendship between us. We decided to meet up one day at lakes middle school. I remember you road your skateboard 3.3 miles from your house just to meet up with me. I remember you wearing your joker hat, your glasses, black skinny jeans, your Korn shirt, and black high top converse. We would hangout as often as we could since we met around finals time in school. So when we couldnt see eachother in person because of studying, we would just text eachother all the time. I lost my phone at the time so I would use my parents phone to text or video chat you. At school my friends were kind enough to let me use their phone to text you because I loved talking to you so much. Pretty soon we decided to start dating. I don't remember how long it lasted but we ended up having a pretty big falling out as young and dumb teenagers do. We didn't talk to eachother for a while after that. But pretty soon we got back into contact with eachother and became really great friends again. You actually contacted me first! Friendship seemed to work great for us, but deep down I knew both of us still really liked eachother more than friends. I know you did as well when you tried to kiss me. I sorta backed away when you did because I had just gotten out of a long term relationship at the time. I feel so bad for doing that. When we would hangout it would just be you, Gavin, and I. Or just you and I. We would always do dumb stuff to make eachother laugh, send memes or goofy photos of ourselves to eachother. I remember hanging out at the library with you, and told you that you needed to make a bitmoji for your Snapchat and you said it was dumb, but I convinced you to make one so we could use those silly bitmoji stickers. Usually you make your bitmoji to look like you, but instead you made it into this super random and goofy looking character which matched your personality pretty well. I also remember you and Gavin would always refer to my dread extensions as "the death-locks" I loved that! One day you messaged me a video of you at a friend's house because your friend was playing green day and you said "I thought of you when this song came on." You and Gavin always used to give me a hard time for liking green day when we were younger, but later on in life you told me that you actually really liked green day and that they always reminded you of me when you listen to them. Around last year we would always try to make time to hangout with eachother but it was difficult to work around our busy schedules, so we would always hangout at super odd hours of the night just talking eachothers ears off, chilling in the cemetery, watching cartoons we could make fun of, listening to music, and driving around. I would even paint your nails black for you. You always had the perfect nail shape to paint, it was always so easy to paint your nails, I never had to clean the access polish around the edges. One night you let me dye the ends of your hair blue with the left over hair dye I had. Without a second thought you were on board the second I suggested it! After dying your hair, I remember you trying to show me a new tattoo you got around your ankle. You told me to turn around because it was a surprise. You kept telling me no peeking as you drunkenly struggled to pull up your pant leg to show me. I loved how excited you were to show me! I loved all your tattoos. Even the ones you hated. You were never afraid to be who you wanted to be and Ive always respected you for that. I always looked up to you Kiernan and I don't think I've ever told you that and I wish I did. One night I remember we were sitting on the couch in your family room around 2 or 3 AM, just talking. Your mom walked around the corner and screamed out of shock because she didn't expect us to be sitting there. I felt super bad at the time but I look back on that moment and laugh because it was such a random moment. That was the first time I had met your mom out of all the years of knowing you! I love that memory. You used to work as a caregiver for the disabled and that gave us both another thing we could relate on since my brother is autistic. We would talk about how sweet and funny your paitents and my brother were all the time. You were so passionate and I could tell you deeply cared for your paitents. It melted my heart. We need more people like you in that type of field, Kiernan! The last time I saw you was around two or so weeks before your passing. We both weren't feeling our best selves so we decided to hangout at your new place. I brought over snacks and we just talked about music for hours. Whenever we talked about music I could always see a fire that lit up inside you because of how passionate you were. I remember I was trying to find this one specific song that had this weird low growl that I've never heard before and i kept trying to find it so I could show you but never ended up finding it. You showed me a bunch of different songs that might have sounded similar to what I was talking about, but we couldn't find one that was similar to what I had heard. I'm still trying to find it though! You told me that you would take me to some local punk shows and I was super excited to go with you! I even planned on going to a concert with you in February. I wish you were still here to do that with me. I remember showing you all types of music to see if you liked any of it and you did! You had such a wide variety of taste in music and such an open mind. I remember listening to certain types of music and would always think "I wonder if Kiernan would like this." So I would send them to you. I thought about you a lot while I listened to music since that was such a big thing for us. And I still do. We were both musicians and huge musicophiles. I knew you had always struggled with depression based on our conversations we would have but I never knew it was that bad. I wish you would have reached out to me so I could have come over to comfort you. I wish you would have reached out to anyone so there would still be a chance for you to be here. I miss you so much it's indescribable. I can't believe you're gone. My brain is still trying to process it. I even had a dream about you last night. It was summer and we were just hanging out being our regular goofy selves. I woke up in a pool of sweat with my dog sleeping right next to me. Both of our dogs look like twins, it's adorable. But I've been having dreams about you every single night since the day I found out you had passed away. I can't stop thinking of you. I love you so so much Kiernan, I wish you were still here so I could tell you that, and how much you mean to me. I hope you knew how much I cared for you. It helps knowing that you're no longer in pain. I'm not a very religious person, but if there's anything after death, it calms me knowing that you'll be there waiting. <3

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Amanda Boik planted a tree in memory of Kiernan Krutil

Monday, December 20, 2021

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Kiernan, thank you forever for making my life so much better for being in it. You are kindest soul I will ever know, and I hope you are at peace now. Join in honoring their life - plant a memorial tree

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Krutil family purchased flowers

Sunday, December 19, 2021

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Krutil family

purchased the Wondrous Nature Bouquet and planted a memorial tree for the family of Kiernan Krutil. Send Flowers

Always in our hearts.

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Tribute Store

Saturday, December 18, 2021

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Rays Of Solace Bouquet was purchased and a memorial tree was planted for the family of Kiernan Krutil. Send Flowers

With deepest sympathy, Love Aunt Linda

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Sarah Low purchased flowers

Saturday, December 18, 2021

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Sarah Low

purchased the Loving Light Dishgarden for the family of Kiernan Krutil. Send Flowers

Trice, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please know I am thinking of you and sending you love. Hugs, Sarah Low

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Kimm purchased flowers

Saturday, December 18, 2021

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Kimm

purchased the Light Of My Life Bouquet and planted a memorial tree for the family of Kiernan Krutil. Send Flowers

Trice, with my deepest sympathy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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Jackie McNeel purchased flowers

Friday, December 17, 2021

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Jackie McNeel

purchased the Yellow Rose Bouquet for the family of Kiernan Krutil. Send Flowers

I pray that God will give you strength to get through this. I am so sorry for the pain you are facing.

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Harmony Vellekamp uploaded photo(s)

Friday, December 17, 2021

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I knew you as Kiki. Sometimes as the actual embodiment of Kesha. I knew you were smarter than you thought you were. I knew you were one of the best people I would spend my time with. I knew you were lost. I saw your potential. I was immediately connected to you and you and I were glued at the hip. Your contact is still in my “favorites section” on my phone. Though almost 10 years younger than me, we were quick friends. We used to joke, calling me “Bill Cosby,” because before we ever met, I actually met you 3 times when you were sleeping at Josh's house. Meeting you unconscious before actually knowing you. I was so curious about who was “stealing my best friend,” and I have to meet this guy! We started talking a little bit here and there on snapchat, just being dumb and fighting over Josh in a joking manner. We were instantly friends and goofy as hell! I met you, finally. You were even awake! On May 26th, 2021 we were in CDA celebrating Ethan’s birthday and staying at the resort. I asked you to come meet me! And you showed up! We met at Cricket’s and were totally awkward. You know when you talk to someone online for a while before meeting them, and then it's all weird and uncomfortable? Yeah, we were weird as hell. Haha! We enjoyed dinner and you came back with us to the hotel to hang out! SO fun! We talked about music, and connected on so many things. We found out you are actually a big ol’ Nixon Rodeo fan, and have been going to their shows since you were a kid! But too embarrassed to say it to Ethan. I texted you a while later with some pictures we took together and told you I was happy to have met you. We made lots of plans constantly to hang out, go to shows together, and spend more time. I wish we did get to make those memories. I wish I hadn't bailed so much. We hung out again on April 17th, and what a night it was! We spent the night at Josh and Sierra’s house. We played music and obsessed over bands we both loved. We kept saying we were basically the same person. So you dressed up in my crop top and we danced like idiots in the kitchen to Kesha’s Tik Tok! I’m so happy I kept photos and videos of that night. It was so fun to just cut loose and act like weirdos with you. The next night, we hung out again! I went to pick you up at work at Artful Dodger tattoo, and we ended up staying there almost 2 hours. I got to hang with your tattoo family, have some wine with you and the tattoo ladies, and even watch some tattoo action. We made fun of music that came on and came up with the posecore genre for everyone that thinks they like metal. We were gonna get matching posecore tattoos one day. We ran out into the rain yelling and being ridiculous! And come back to Josh and Sierra’s completely drenched, with a big ol pack of Truly’s and ordered some vegetarian pizza. Everyone went to bed and we stayed up listening to music and talking about all the beautiful and painful things. Soon after my friend Liz came to visit from Ohio. We came over and invited you over. I told her she HAD TO meet Kiki! You came and met up with us and we all took pictures, and sang and danced, and made dumb jokes all night. I wore your crusty jacket, and she wore your bullet belt all night. I hope you did find your belt. We made plans to go to the city beach, and go hiking, and always inviting each other places, but we didnt ever get those chances. We spoke often and send dumb pictures of whatever we were doing all day, or memes that seemingly were made for us. I saw you one more time. May 20th, 2021. As I'm typing this, it's hard to reconcile that this is truly the last time. I asked you what you were up to and you were eating some spaghetti. You quickly came over right after and we hung out for a few hours. Something seemed off. You pulled me to the side and wanted to tell me privately that you wanted to move to Seattle. That you felt like you would fit in there, and were done with Spokane. That you had seen all it had to offer, and you wanted a fresh start. You were going to enroll in nursing school, and wanted to be an RN. I told you to go. That toy will do amazing and that I’m in Seattle a lot for shows and to see family. I told you we could always grab extra tickets to shows and bring you. And you could come stay in hotels with us and have some friends that care and want to see you as often as I can. But to go. To experience something new, get away from partying, and focus on who you want….. wanted…. to be. I invited you over a few more times but it just never worked out. I wish it did. I wish I knew what you were going through. I was a full time artist for a while, and you had me draw two pictures of you. One absolutely ridiculous face you were making. One even more ridiculous full body shot of you mostly nude with the essentials tucked, because I was doing boudoir cartoons at the time. You supported me when I was struggling for inspiration, and needed a good laugh to get me going again. We always talked about going to do crossfit together. You thought you were fat and feminine. I thought you were great! I just wanted a workout buddy to push me. I'm sad that we never did. August 5th, 2021 I tried to hangout again. You said you had Covid, and i said that you better send me a picture of you being sickly or i didn't believe you. I just felt…. Off. You didn’t reply. I sent you a funny meme 22 days later and referenced “posecore” again, thinking that it would get a reply. You didn't reply. This was unlike you. I'm worried about you. Another few days later you called me at 7am and I missed it. I tried calling you back a few times and you didn't answer. I texted you asking if you were okay and trying to call you back. The last text i ever sent you, Oct 15th, ai asked “did you make it out to Seattle yet?” No reply. The last I ever heard from you was to see you again, and you couldn't because of Covid. Truth is, I liked spending time with you. I missed spending time with you. And, I was worried about you. I should have tried harder. Reach out more. Understood more of the pain you were in. I just got so busy. I miss you, and now always will. From the most painful part of my heart, you have meant so much to me since I met you. It wasn’t romantic. It was a real true connection, and I would have been someone who always showed up for you. I Care about you. Spent time with you. I miss you even more. I'm sorry you’re gone, and i didnt have a chance to tell you how important, smart, and absolutely capable you are. You have this passion for the thing most people struggle to find. The beauty in the things that are too painful to think about. We called ourselves a couple of “sad boys” and would joke that we are both too emotional for this world. I wish I knew just how much pain you were in. I wish you were here to let me hug you and try to squeeze the broken pieces back together. I wish. Missing you always, Harmony Vellekamp

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